Why is it that getting started again is the hardest part?
I haven't been riding regularly since probably July. I can't believe I only just realised this. That is over half a year! Fox had a couple of months off over winter while I concentrated on study. I got back into it for a month or two but it was only a couple of rides a week. Then Fox had his accidents in October/November. Now here I am in January, with most of Summer (what we actually had of it) behind me. After last weeks post, I still can't get my A into G and get out there and do it.
There are a million things that seem to have taken priority over riding. None of them, except walking the dogs, are as much fun and even they have been neglected a bit. When did boring life take over? I can't remember the last time I did something fun, just for me, the last time I did any yoga or took the dogs out without any time constraints. I firmly believe that I was put on this earth to have a good time. Not to work endless hours or to do endless hours renovating or doing housework. Sure, these things need to be done to facilitate fun but they are not what life should be about. I'm pissed off that I let it get this way and pissed off that it took me so long to realise what was going on.
Riding used to be something that my happiness hinged on. If I went for too long without riding I would get cranky and my boy friend would send me away for a few hours with strict instructions to ride. What the hell happened to that!? I am beyond frustrated at myself. So tonight Fox and I are going for a walk. Just a handwalk, nothing special but I need to make a start. I need to start making time for riding. And actually all the other things I enjoy too.
Life is here to be lived, and all I'm doing at the moment is existing. Not good.